Yet Another Plea Of Love

This is not the way that I want to see the world. In fear of the political system, in hatred for the people who don’t see things as I do, in shame that I have never been able to make any great positive change in society, in grief that I can never find a way to help. I guess I have no idea how the world works.

But I know how I work. I know when I am compassionate and loving and open and fearless then my life fills with joy. I see clouds outside the window of the plane and I am forever connected to the eons of humans who were never able to see the clouds. I am connected to a majesty and magnificence in the moment. My eyes fill with the deep red light on the top of the cloud bank. I see for all those who never saw, and for those who have yet to see. read more

To Washington, With Love

I’m in Upstate New York this week, and the ground is wet, the sky silky and grey. Last night it rained, and we headed into a restaurant dodging the spouts of rainwater coming off the old buildings. Today, the morning is still and cold. I love how heavy the sky is here, like a blanket, muffling sound. Little brown birds are going crazy in the bare branches of the yard, and their movement flies incongruent with the stillness everywhere else. A fat red cardinal perches in a tall tree, reminding my rods and cones of their purpose. At 12:30, there will be a window of no rain, and I’ll walk into the little town, sneak glances into windows, maybe sit and have a cup of coffee and then head back to this cozy little house for a peaceful day of tea and kitties and my dear friend. read more

Majority of One

My first weekend back from the holiday was cold and rainy and the weather was a great excuse to hole up, blankets and pug and books and magazines and tea, so much tea. My favorite kind of weekend. I set off on a two-day journey through ideas and stories, listening to podcasts, reading and writing. Making sure the pug had a good nest on the couch, his warm little body reminding me how long ago, folks used to warm a brick in the fireplace, wrap it in a blanket and put it at the foot of the bed on cold nights. I guess you could say I lived a one-dog night, all weekend. read more

Dream of Hawk

This holiday, I got the opportunity to record a song with my Omaha buddies. The night before, I dreamed I was looking in the mirror, a close-up of very crooked, sharp snaggle teeth. The dream book says this is a dream of insecurity, of not feeling good enough. I didn’t think I was feeling uncertain of my ability before the recording, but I guess somewhere in that subconscious Clem, those feelings were lurking.

Catching glimpses of news stories on the internet as we launch into the new year, I wonder how we can ever feel good enough. There seems to be so much evidence to the contrary.  Never pretty enough or smart enough, accomplished enough or loved enough. Thin enough, rich enough, healthy enough, young enough… the things we need to change about ourselves seem infinite. This time of the year, the list spills out like a worn-out grocery list. I guess I haven’t been making the right choices. I guess I haven’t been the absolute best I can possibly be. I can look forever at mistakes of my past that brought me here, never enough. This year, can it be different? Or have I already failed? read more